Family expectations can be a b*tchJul 01, 2021
Hello beautiful soul!
It's been a few weeks since I last wrote and there has been sooo much going on! I started June talking about family expectations and how these can impact you for your whole life if you do not become aware of them. Boy, I didn't know how timely this topic would be for myself this month!
There's a lot to be said on this topic, but I've discussed quite a bit about this over the past few weeks. I encourage you to go watch some of my IGTV videos from the past few weeks if you haven't had a chance yet! I'm not going to repeat everything here, but feel free to check out the videos here!
I was fortunate enough to spend time with family this month and found myself feeling all out of sorts. It wasn't that we were finally together for the first time since Dec 2019 or the fact that it was the second anniversary of my grandfather's passing. I felt out of sorts because I have grown so much over the past 18 months and this was the first time I was living in my truth with these family members.
You see, I used to be a very different person. I was negative all the time, miserable, and cocksure that I was the only person who was "right." NONE of that is still true for me, but it is true for much of my family and the environment in which I grew up. So returning home in my light was freaking hard. Like, way harder than I thought it would be.
I had to keep reminding myself to stand in my truth, to remain authentic, despite the pressure to regress to my former self in order to "fit in."
It was hard. Not every minute of every day, but overall, it was a difficult trip.
I learned so much about myself on this trip; my inner strength and determination to stay true to my light and my purpose on Earth, as well as how sensitive I am. I grew up locking my emotions away and thinking that crying was a sign of weakness. I CRIED SO MUCH ON THIS TRIP dude, it's not even funny. BUT, it was a lesson reminder that crying is simply releasing old, stagnant, yucky energy from your body and your soul.
I also learned how strong my marriage is; how my husband loves me unconditionally, even when I'm ugly crying for days. It was a beautiful reminder that I am always supported.
Okay...why am I sharing this with you?
Because families are hard. and beautiful. and amazing. and flipping annoying! More importantly, they are mirrors of ourselves. Our families will show us our weaknesses, strengths, and opportunities for growth faster than anything else. Seriously. That cousin who pisses you off because they know everything? They're reflecting something to you that you don't like about yourself.
My point though, in sharing this, is to help normalize that it can be really hard to show up authentically around people who knew you when you were different. That's not an excuse for you to stop showing up as your beautiful self, it's a reminder that your new self is needed. Cry it out, scream, go for drives with the music cranked all the way up, do what you need to do in order to release the pain, the heartache, the grief. Then show up as you are now.
We have to take a look at the expectations our families hold for us, as well as the expectations we hold for our families to ensure they are all in alignment with the life we want to live and the person we truly are. The expectations your parents had of you growing up should not be the same they hold for you when you're 45. The expectations you have of your siblings at 18 should not be the same ones you hold at 32. Why? Because you are all different people.
Take time to dig into what these expectations are because these form such critical cornerstones of your life that they can be unknowingly holding you back. You want them to support your growth and propel you forward. Check out this video to learn more.
Knowing who we are now and what has gotten us here is tantamount to forging a path to where we want to go. It can be scary to take a hard look at the expectations our families have of us, the expectations we hold for our families, and the expectations we hold for ourselves within the realm of family.
That's why I'm creating a brand new course that will guide you through your emotional relationships so you can feel supported in working through heavy emotions and changing relationships to work for you. I would love if you would take a few minutes to fill out a survey so I can make this the best possible course!
With love, your coach,